Fox News Says Lady Gaga Makes Child Molesters Very Excited

March 15, 2010 § Leave a comment

The highly reputable and equally cultured folks over at Fox News are lighting a fire under Lady Gaga’s ass. Sandy Rios, the Grand Wizard of The Culture Campaign, claims that Gaga’s new video for “Telephone”- which you have obviously seen by now – is much too racy. Porn! Lesbians! T+A! A chopped off cock! “Telephone” is poisoning our youths, so much that on Monday CNN reported that MTV banned Gaga. Fabulous! Fox News Correspondent Sandy Rios thinks the video should be banned from all media outlets, period. And that’s not even the best part. Apparently, all those child molesters out there who watch “Telephone” – i.e. your next door neighbor – will only want to prey on your children even more after seeing the video. So I guess you should really be on the look out. « Read the rest of this entry »

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The Hipsters Are Coming, The Hipsters Are Coming!! MGMT To Headline Yale Spring Fling

March 15, 2010 § 1 Comment

There’s no way to know how official this is yet, but the folks over at Ivy Gate are reporting that psychedelic indie rock duo MGMT is headlining Spring Fling this April. Oh My Fucking God. FINALLLLLY a real musical act that will actually, like, be fabulous. In all my time at Yale, I’ve been ultra disappointed at the quality of Spring Fling acts. One year we had T.I. Really. I’ve been so annoyed at the peeps who run the Spring Fling shit can’t get their acts together and always bring sub-par acts to campus. Two years ago Brown had M.I.A. and Vampire Weekend at their Spring Fling. Don’t ask me who we had that year – I don’t even fucking remember.

Here’s to hoping the rumors are true! I am dying to see them play live – for free!!!

The 13 Most Fabulous Things About Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” Video

March 12, 2010 § 5 Comments

Okay, so you already know by now that Lady Gaga finally dropped the video for “Telephone,” easily The Greatest Music Video of All Time. In a fabulous “pop event,” the video premiered at 11:30pm on E! news – you know, once all the kiddies were asleep and safely tucked away from the poison and lesbianism that Gaga would obviously fabulize. “Telephone” is a super ambitious video, and it’s really, really perfect. It feels like it wants to go down in history – and it will! But am I the only one who thinks that “Telephone” totally talks back to all of Michael Jackson’s epic videos like “Remember the Time,” “Bad” and “Thriller” – all of which were highly anticipated mini movies, too? Also…when Gaga escapes the prison, she does a Michael Jackson dance move on her way out.

Take my word for it – “Telephone” is amahzing. It is a pop cultural landmark not only in it’s epicness as an event, or how it’s reverberated around the world and collects column inches by the second, but also in how the video is packed with references to easily recognizable pop cultural symbols. Aymar Jean wrote a fascinating piece about the insane branding in “Telephone” and how it solidifies Gaga as “our camp consumerist icon.”

You know what else solidifies her as a camp icon? The many fabulous things I found in the video, and I uncover 13 of them below! Read on to find out more! « Read the rest of this entry »

Lady Gaga Is Basically A Lesson In Iconography

March 2, 2010 § 3 Comments

This piece is from the Yale Daily News Scene Blog. Check me out there, too!

You know you’re a pop icon when some dude can draw you on a cookie — and everybody still knows it’s you! A little while back, two little monsters celebrated Her Gaganess by making a batch of cookies based on her various outrageous outfits. Faaaabulous. « Read the rest of this entry »

SURPRISE! Tyra Banks Goes Weave-Less On the Next Season of ANTM

February 19, 2010 § Leave a comment

(Natural)

Iconic drag queen Tyra Banks has told WWD that she’ll be au natural on this season of America’s Next Top Model, going weave-less the WHOLE season. Wow. In our Age of Total Weave, where almost errrbody has some kind of weave up in they heads, this is risky!!!

It sounds like a huge deal – I mean, what is Tyra without her many complicated weaves?!?! – but it’s not really, because Tyra’s natural hair is long and beautiful as it is. That’s why her lace-fronts look so good!!! You know, it’s sort of funny how she’s making a huge deal about going weave-less – is this supposed to give some, like, empowering message to women? Is it saying: “Hey ladies, don’t be slaves to your weaves!”

(Fierce)

I think it’s more that she’s trying to look slightly less drag-queeny this season. But whatever. Weave is fabulous. Men and women should both walk around in weaves, carrying a personal fan pointed at their face for that really dramatic effect.

FASHION WEEK: Jeremy Scott Is Basically Fashion’s Duchamp

February 18, 2010 § Leave a comment

This piece originally aired on the Yale Daily News Scene Blog

You’re just chilling at a hot frat party when all of a sudden this girl rolls up into the room and she’s wearing a, like, Snickers dress. No. For real — the dress has the same color scheme and logo as a Snickers bar. Hmm. So you’re just kind of unsure if she’s dead serious or if this event has just become a costume party. But it’s couture, so it’s serious.

That’s the thing I love about Jeremy Scott — you’re never really sure if he’s joking. He’s sort of like Duchamp, when the artist first put up a fucking URINAL as a work of art. Um … freak out? « Read the rest of this entry »

American Apparel Says Your Ass Is Worth $300

February 11, 2010 § Leave a comment

This piece originally appeared in the Yale Daily News

Want to be an ass model? Okay, put down those Ho Ho’s! American Apparel wants to make your ass the hottest ass in the world. Curious? All you do is have a BFF take a picture of your cheeks in American Apparel underwear. The top ten asses get voted on by us, the Internet, and the winner will receive…wait for it…a grab bag of stuff from American Apparel worth $300 plus a trip to LA.

$300?! ARE YOU TELLING ME MY ASS IS ONLY WORTH $300?!?! I love American Apparel and everything, but this is kinda sketch. I mean, if you’re gonna use my ass in all your ads, I’d expect at least $5,000 of, like, real money. And why is the contest only open to women? There should totally be a separate contest – The Best Male Package in the World. Mmmmhmm!

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