Fox News Says Lady Gaga Makes Child Molesters Very Excited

March 15, 2010 § Leave a comment

The highly reputable and equally cultured folks over at Fox News are lighting a fire under Lady Gaga’s ass. Sandy Rios, the Grand Wizard of The Culture Campaign, claims that Gaga’s new video for “Telephone”- which you have obviously seen by now – is much too racy. Porn! Lesbians! T+A! A chopped off cock! “Telephone” is poisoning our youths, so much that on Monday CNN reported that MTV banned Gaga. Fabulous! Fox News Correspondent Sandy Rios thinks the video should be banned from all media outlets, period. And that’s not even the best part. Apparently, all those child molesters out there who watch “Telephone” – i.e. your next door neighbor – will only want to prey on your children even more after seeing the video. So I guess you should really be on the look out. « Read the rest of this entry »


The 13 Most Fabulous Things About Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” Video

March 12, 2010 § 5 Comments

Okay, so you already know by now that Lady Gaga finally dropped the video for “Telephone,” easily The Greatest Music Video of All Time. In a fabulous “pop event,” the video premiered at 11:30pm on E! news – you know, once all the kiddies were asleep and safely tucked away from the poison and lesbianism that Gaga would obviously fabulize. “Telephone” is a super ambitious video, and it’s really, really perfect. It feels like it wants to go down in history – and it will! But am I the only one who thinks that “Telephone” totally talks back to all of Michael Jackson’s epic videos like “Remember the Time,” “Bad” and “Thriller” – all of which were highly anticipated mini movies, too? Also…when Gaga escapes the prison, she does a Michael Jackson dance move on her way out.

Take my word for it – “Telephone” is amahzing. It is a pop cultural landmark not only in it’s epicness as an event, or how it’s reverberated around the world and collects column inches by the second, but also in how the video is packed with references to easily recognizable pop cultural symbols. Aymar Jean wrote a fascinating piece about the insane branding in “Telephone” and how it solidifies Gaga as “our camp consumerist icon.”

You know what else solidifies her as a camp icon? The many fabulous things I found in the video, and I uncover 13 of them below! Read on to find out more! « Read the rest of this entry »

Tonight, Lady Gaga Brings Back The Landline And The Music Video

March 11, 2010 § Leave a comment

At exactly 11:30 pm, little monsters all over the world will affix telephones to their heads and watch as the highly anticipated music video for Lady Gaga’s new joint “Telephone” drops. Hey, everybody, that’s right after Project Runway! So at least if Project Runway doesn’t make it work, you’ll still have this to look forward to!

If you’re like me and have been listening to “The Fame Monster” since it dropped last November, you’ve been dying to have a video for “Telephone.” If you haven’t heard it, stop everything you’re doing and go listen to it RIGHT NOW. I promise that when you put “Telephone” on one time you’ll be like, “Oh this is a massive hit.”

“Stop callin’, stop callin’ I don’t wanna think anymore. I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.” YESSSS. It’ll give you multiple dance-gasms. Annnnnnnd it has Beyoncé it in, too!! Get it? Beyoncé did “Video Phone” and put Lady Gaga in it, and now The Lady does “Telephone” and puts Bey in it. Two of my favorite bitches in a single song. I’m having moment.

Everybody is excited about the video because it has taken f-o-r-e-v-e-r to be released as a single. Despite all those fancy performances of “Speechless,”  this is only the second single from The Fame Monster. But also, The Lady is building up her own hype around the thing: the video isn’t premiering on YouTube or whatever, but on E! and they’ve been talking it up since the Oscar’s. Plus, after the video premiers, there’ll be an exclusive interview with The Lady where she will undoubtedly philosophize on the video and all the couture and face masks therein.

This is a totally brilliant pop strategy, if you ask me, because she’s creating an “Event.” How performance art-y is that?!?! “What I like about it is that it’s a real true pop event. When I was younger I was always excited when there was a big giant event happening in pop music and that’s what I wanted this to be.” Now that we don’t have TRL or music videos anymore for that matter, Lady Gaga is taking us waaaaay back to World Premiere videos at 3PM on TRL with Carson Daly. It’s time to get old-school. So quick, everybody – throw out your iPhones and HDTVs!

The “visually stunning” masterpiece is nine minutes long – faaaaaaaabulous – and picks up where “Paparazzi” left off. Gaga has even said that she feels sorry for the “Bad Romance” video, because “Telephone” is so much better.  Can’t. Wait. Judging by the couture alone, the video will be massive. I’m wearing a telephone on my head right now in celebration.

If you don’t have cable, don’t worry, monster. The video will be available on VEVO and LADYGAGA.COM at Midnight for you to watch over and over and over again. Click.

Lady Gaga Is Basically A Lesson In Iconography

March 2, 2010 § 3 Comments

This piece is from the Yale Daily News Scene Blog. Check me out there, too!

You know you’re a pop icon when some dude can draw you on a cookie — and everybody still knows it’s you! A little while back, two little monsters celebrated Her Gaganess by making a batch of cookies based on her various outrageous outfits. Faaaabulous. « Read the rest of this entry »

Lady Gaga Wore A Couture Barbed Wire Fence to the Grammy’s

February 2, 2010 § Leave a comment

Nobody watches the Grammy’s for the awards. Helllllo! It’s all about the outfits and the red carpet. My drag mother Lady Gaga didn’t win any awards during the live Grammy broadcast, a fact that kinda makes me want to monster claw Taylor Swift.

Ra ra ra ah ah ahhhh…

But! The Most Interesting Celebrity On The Planet beat out all the stars on the fashion tip, as always. In her first look of many, The Lady wore a pee-colored weave and a glitter covered couture barbed wire fence. Yay for Armani Privé! If you take a closer look, you can see that she’s wearing a full body suit from head to toe. Plus, she carried a couture torture device as a purse. I am making my own right now.

Of course, that’s only the beginning. Inside the theatre, The Lady morphed into a disco ball skyscraper with a hat that could either be a jousting stick or a cell phone tower. Don’t come too close or she will eff you up.

What I want to know is…how does Gaga and her Haus keep coming up with all of these fabulous ideas for *every* public appearance?! Isn’t all the creativity exhausting? No wonder she had to cancel all of those shows. It truly is hard work being fabulous.

Lady GaGa On Oprah, Oprah Works It Out To Bad Romance

January 15, 2010 § 1 Comment

Despite the news that Lady GaGa collapsed yesterday due to exhaustion at Purdue University, the ever-fabulous diva appeared on Oprah today for an interview and performance. The best part of the video, though, is midway through when the camera catches Oprah jamming with her monster claws out! Work, O! In the rest of the interview, GaGa dishes all on her outfits, her pop cultural performance, and tears up the house with a medley of her hottest songs. I’m telling you, GaGa is really working it out. I love how she connects high fashion, art, pop culture, and I really love how she does consider herself a performance artist. Take that, art world!

It’s high time I write an academic journal article on her, before somebody else less fabulous beats me to it.

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