American Apparel Says Your Ass Is Worth $300
February 11, 2010 § Leave a comment
This piece originally appeared in the Yale Daily News
Want to be an ass model? Okay, put down those Ho Ho’s! American Apparel wants to make your ass the hottest ass in the world. Curious? All you do is have a BFF take a picture of your cheeks in American Apparel underwear. The top ten asses get voted on by us, the Internet, and the winner will receive…wait for it…a grab bag of stuff from American Apparel worth $300 plus a trip to LA.
$300?! ARE YOU TELLING ME MY ASS IS ONLY WORTH $300?!?! I love American Apparel and everything, but this is kinda sketch. I mean, if you’re gonna use my ass in all your ads, I’d expect at least $5,000 of, like, real money. And why is the contest only open to women? There should totally be a separate contest – The Best Male Package in the World. Mmmmhmm!